


Muse

by Vlindervin



Category: SKAM (Spain)
Genre: F/F, amira thinking over her photography da(te)y with dounia and what it all means, very introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:15:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26356339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vlindervin/pseuds/Vlindervin
Summary: The three other girls, however, make it easy. They get it even without needing Amira to explain her feelings, and she never knew how freeing it could feel to just be and be seen anyway.Dounia, especially, with her big eyes filled to the brim with kindness, her ever-permanent smile and understanding words, that soft voice filled with humour and care. Amira always feels calm around her, and she doesn’t really understand why.-Aftermath of C2 E2 S4
Relationships: Amira Naybet/Dounia
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	Muse

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure how this happened, all I can say is that Amira and Dounia have a lot of power. Also, just a head's up that I do love the girl squad a lot, even if it's not super apparent in this! I'm convinced they'll grow even closer together throughout this season, even if it's rocky at first! Oh, and I've seen ppl spell Dounia in different ways, but this is how it's spelled on skames' yt page, so I went with that.  
> Enjoy!

Amira’s mind hasn’t known peace all evening, buzzing and jumping from one image to another and then back again. She ate dinner with her family as fast as she could, not being able to pay attention to their conversation, and not knowing where to even start if they’d asked her what was on her mind. 

So she’d locked herself up in her room, tried to do some work for school, but instead spent her time going through all the photos Dounia had sent her from their day together. They’re all so good, and Amira is in awe of the way she managed to make the simplest of things beautiful. She’s always been a scientist through and through, but she’s constantly in awe of the way artists manage to make the world their own. 

The only flaw she could think of is that there is no picture of the two of them together, or even just of Dounia, but she knows that in order to be the artist, Dounia couldn’t be the art, although Amira thinks she somehow managed to do both. 

She gives herself until it’s time to pray Isha to get her work done, and then she’ll let her mind run the course it so clearly wants, but she needs to prepare in order for that to happen, so in the meantime she forces herself to focus on her books.

When the adhan sounds from her phone, she lets out a breath so full of relief she rolls her eyes at herself. 

She manages to stay mostly focused on her prayer, although it’s harder than usual, and asks for a little bit of extra strength right at the end, because she thinks she really could use some of that right about now. Or maybe some clarity, an explanation of what’s happening inside of her. 

Afterwards, having gotten ready for bed, she flops down on it looking at the ceiling for a moment, before burying herself under her blanket and getting comfortable. 

She closes her eyes, in hopes of falling asleep immediately, but she should’ve known not to hope for too much. It’s not the first night she can’t manage to fall asleep, but she’d hoped with how tired she was today, that maybe it’d be easier. On Saturday, she’d still been a little bit in shock when she tried, and conflicted over Cris’ behavior, knowing it wasn’t entirely her fault that she got mugged, but also so disappointed that, once again, it feels like she’s being taken for granted.

She loves Cris with all she has, and knows her even better, can’t imagine life without her, but it hurts a bit, to have her act so carelessly towards Amira’s needs. Maybe that’s why today felt so good. 

She hasn’t known the girls from the association for a very long time, but she feels like she can breathe with them. It always feels so much lighter when she’s around them, not having to be careful with what she says for fear of being met with misunderstanding of her culture and faith, always feeling just a bit on the sidelines when they go out partying or talk about hooking up or smoke in the park. It’s entertaining, and she knows she belongs in that group to a certain extent, but sometimes it gets tiring. She can’t exactly let loose completely when she’s always having to be careful, but she also doesn’t know how to talk to them about it, as they wouldn’t understand. 

The three other girls, however, make it easy. They get it even without needing Amira to explain her feelings, and she never knew how freeing it could feel to just be and be seen anyway. 

Dounia, especially, with her big eyes filled to the brim with kindness, her ever-permanent smile and understanding words, that soft voice filled with humour and care. Amira always feels calm around her, and she doesn’t really understand why. 

Today in the park, they’d had so much fun and the time had flown by without Amira even noticing it, too caught up in the day to notice the night slowly creeping in and before she knew it, her mother asking whether she was eating at home, and having to leave. When the two went their separate ways home, Amira had looked at Dounia’s retreating back until she turned a corner, almost sad in a way, and wishing she could follow her. 

She shifts over in bed, the echoes of the camera clicking at the back of her mind still. 

Amira doesn’t necessarily like being the centre of attention, but this hadn’t really felt like that. Dounia calling out directions, pretending to be a famous photographer, while Amira switched between exaggerating her poses to make her laugh, and being serious for a bit to allow her to take some decent pictures, too. She’d succeeded in making her laugh, multiple times, which filled her with a particular kind of pride she’s having a hard time placing. 

There’s a moment she comes back to all evening, when Amira slumped against the wall with tears in her eyes and laughter too heavy to carry standing upright, and right in front of her, Dounia failing to catch her breath, bent over, with her camera with a shaking hand, while fanning her face with the other one to try to calm down and doing an abysmal job of it. Just the thought of it, returns some of the giddiness she’d felt then in excess to her body, and it brings a small smile to her face. She wonders if it feels somewhat like when her friends smoke weed, or if this was even better. She can’t imagine something adding up to the feeling of Dounia turning away from Amira to compose herself, and managing until she caught sight of her again, and she fell back into the fit all over again. 

She’s been pretending she doesn’t know what the warmth coursing through her body at the sight of Dounia’s smile means, the one she wears a lot, meaning in her company Amira is almost always warm. That she can’t tell why she still feels the pressure of Dounia’s shoulder against her when they walked so very close without separating once, which Amira only noticed when they arrived at their destination, as it had felt so natural. Why Dounia’s eyes on her during the photoshoot left her vulnerable, seen and hot all at the same time. Why she missed that weight on her when she hid one eye behind the camera and closed the other one. The tightening in her stomach when the wind messed up the many curls of her head and she tried to tidy them with a little frown, before giving up and leaving them messy, which Amira didn’t mind. The instant trust Amira had in her, only moments after first meeting her, that’s getting more secure each day. 

Maybe she does know what it all means and it’s. Scary, but exciting at the same time, because how couldn’t she feel this way? It feels natural in the same way she feels sort of guilty. She’s never felt anything but happy and supportive of Cris and Joana, but it feels heavier when it’s she herself feeling these things, especially considering she’s never felt anything like it before, so it almost feels too sudden, like maybe that’s just what happens when you trust someone who understands you completely. 

She closes her eyes, in a new attempt to fall asleep and praying that in the morning, she’ll have processed more of this.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm on tumblr @vlindervin7 if you wanna talk to me or reblog this there!


End file.
